To a casual observer, and for a certain period of time, going to places on your own, particularly places that you would normally deem a group activity, was more for the oddball of society. Now, however, and thankfully, it is becoming more and more popular for people to do things and go places alone.
I honestly cannot recommend it enough, and I find it is a lovely adrenaline rush when people compliment me on the bravery of going out alone. This is a post long overdue, because I want to share some tips and tricks for those who want to try going out somewhere, or doing something on their own, particularly in an ever changing world whilst some things may be safer than ever, it is still a relatively unsafe world in places, but for someone who once was convinced she would never go to places like London on her own, take it from : you are brave just for being yourself, no matter what that looks like.
So, without further adieu, here are my top ten tips for starting your own solo adventures, whether you embark on an entire voyage alone, or if you just want to have the courage to go to a theatre show alone.
1) Start small. People have different comfort levels. If you are too nervous going out of town on your own, start simple. Go to the end of the road on your own. Go for a walk on your own, to an area that is familiar to you. Once you conquer your own back garden, so to speak, you can then venture as far or as close to home as you feel comfortable. You'll be surprised how, over time, the boundaries of your own comfort zone start to stretch to encompass more and more of the world.
2) Set goals. Work out what it is you really want to do on your own, and create smaller goals that help you build up to achieving your bigger dream. If you want to go abroad on your own, for example, start visiting cities in your own country, and venture further and further out until you have the confidence to move on a step. If you want the confidence to dine out alone, start by cooking yourself a meal and setting yourself up in an area that looks and feels like a restaurant, maybe put on some background music. Create the ambience of a restaurant. You'll be surprised how quickly, over time, your little steps evolve into big leaps.
3) Plan for adventure, but leave room for spontaneity. Make sure you plan, plan, plan for the basic things, such as getting to your destination, booking tickets for the activities you want to do, etc. but don't book yourself into such a tight box that you can't fit anything else in. Sometimes the biggest surprises come from spontaneous experiences. If you still need that organised structure to your adventure, then block out an hour or two for miscellaneous activities, and don't put any other label on it. Use that time to explore, learn a new skill, or meet new people.
4) Don't be afraid to stop something if it doesn't feel fun anymore. Don't put pressure on yourself to try new things for the sake of trying something new, particularly if doing so is going to set you back mentally. Your mental health comes first. Even if your halfway through something, give yourself an out. I would even say before you do anything, make sure there is a stopping point, or an escape route if you need to leave and take some time to gather yourself. Money can be replaced, you can't. No new experience is worth it, and you can always work up to trying again in the future.
5) Speak to other people. People, for the most part, want you to succeed. If you have got something you want to try, you might know someone who can give you tips or tricks to help you. If you're going on a solo trip, people may know good places to visit in that vicinity, or they may show you places to get discounts. There are only a handle of activities that only a small number of people will have ever done, so there is always a wealth of knowledge and experience you can draw upon to get you the most out of whatever it is you want to do.
6) Don't worry about what other people think of you. A good thing to remember is that doing things alone doesn't make you a weirdo, or a loner. Only you know yourself. If you always worry about what other people think, you'll never get anything done, and it is exhausting managing your own thoughts, let alone the thoughts of everyone else. Be proud you want to take control of what you want to do, instead of arguing about it in a group of other people.
7) Take photos/videos. Document your experience, whether it's taking one photo, or a hundred. You may end up discarding them after, but it's a good thing to look back on and see what you've done, and who you've become. I still look back at all my photos of my many adventures, and sometimes it strikes me that I have visited so many places, seen so many shows, that I can't quite believe I'm the same girl who used to be so shy she could barely look a person in the eye when talking to them.
8) Always give yourself something to look forward to. In a world where it's easy to despair or feel scared of what is going on around the globe, we have to create our own victories, our own moments of glory in just being alive. Take advantage of opportunities to create your own happiness. Once you plan one activity, the rush will compel you to plan many more and it takes a new life of its own.
9) Keep your phone charged, but disengage from it whenever you can. By this I mean, make sure you have a way of contacting people if you need help, but don't sink into your phone and forget to take in the world around you. Enjoy just being part of the fabric of the world.
10) Encourage yourself. You are your own cheerleader, and if you believe you can do something, you can. The more you encourage yourself to take risks, experience new things, the more likely you are to grow as a person, and you may even one day share your own knowledge with other people in the hopes of encouraging them to do as you have done.
We may not get a lot right as a species, but when we believe in ourselves, we can light a fire in ourselves that doesn't easily get put out. All we have to do is keep fanning the flames.
