Musical Quote of the Moment

 "Seems you get to live your life just once, and if that's how it's gotta be, then I'd rather breathe in life then dusty air." - Bonnie from Bonnie & Clyde the Musical. 

How Acting Saved My Life

 To a casual observer, acting may be considered a hobby, rather than a career. Yes, it may be a career, but not a career to particularly aspire to, and this is because of the many misconceptions people have of acting, and its purpose in the world. 

It seems unlikely I will ever act full time and as a career, but I can tell you one thing: we are all acting in this world, whether it's acting like we're okay, acting like we enjoy something when we do, or acting like we don't care about something, when actually it's our biggest passion and we are having to suppress it in order to fit in. The difference between those people, and those that do acting as a career and / or hobby, is that playing pretend actually has a benefit, a purpose to us.

Let me paint you a picture of an eleven year old me. 

She's quiet, unsure of herself, and worries constantly that she's going to fail in the world. She doesn't have many friends, and sometimes the world scares her. Well, it scares her a lot actually. Still does even now, if we are being brutally honest. I dare you to look at the state of play the world is today and not be a little frightened, no matter what political, scientific, or environmental issue is you consider to be more central in your world. 

This girl needs a hobby other than just reading books, and she knows this. Her mum has tried coaxing her into social situations, with some successes, but also a lot of failures, and this isn't down to her mum being pushy - far from it in fact, as her mum is her number one supporter in everything - but down to her own crushing lack of self-confidence. This has not been helped by a history of being bullied for the sole crime of being a bit quiet, a bit on the fringe of everything. 

Call it happenstance, call it fate or chance, but thanks to the suggestion of a friend of one of her mum's, she is steered into joining a local amateur dramatic group. On paper, this does not sound like a hobby she would enjoy, even with her previous theatre experience, but there's something about this particular group that makes something inside her make sense. It may be the people, it may be the type of shows this group performs, it may even be the fact her first role with this group is a singing role, something she always has shied away from doing in front of people before; whatever the reason, this group lights a fire inside her that still, to this day, burns bright. 

I am not exaggerating when I say this group is a big part of how I've become the person I am today. Of course, there are other reasons, and other important influences that have shaped my personality, and I think we can all agree that no one person has ever had just one event, or person, or group solely influence who they are. You are more interesting as a collection of ideas and opinions, experiences and events, than you are as a solitary figure revolving around just one theme. 

Now we come on to why and how acting has saved my life.

I suffer from anxiety and, sometimes, a crumbling sense of self-identity. Even though I am more sure of who I am today than I have ever been, it doesn't mean that sometimes I don't question why I'm here, what is my purpose, what am I even doing if I'm not doing something meaningful? I sometimes worry I'm not making a big enough mark on the world to justify my presence here, that I'm not progressing enough in life to justify me being the age that I am, which is ridiculous. We are all competing in the same marathon of life, but not everyone has the same targets, and not everyone has the same obstacles or hurdles to try and overcome, so why should we use the same benchmarks for ourselves as other people use? 

If I allowed these thoughts to make me spiral, I know every day would be a struggle. I wouldn't get anything done, and life would be far less enjoyable. I used to panic that I didn't have a passion, that if I did find one what if I wasn't any good at it, and that life would be pointless if I didn't find one. I can't tell you the amount of hobbies I started but never finished, sometimes out of boredom, sometimes because it wasn't the right fit for me at that time.

What I love about acting, is that it's an art of self-discipline. It teaches you to hone all the energy you have into a character often so different from yourself. It teaches to look at the world at another way, sometimes a sillier, more playful way, but it gives you a different sense of perspective, and I think this is part of why theatre is so important to me. 

As much as you can lose yourself in a theatre piece, be it musical or a strictly performative piece, you also can find yourself as well, or even discover a new skill or talent that can lead on to more exciting paths.

In Trinity Players, I found a girl who not only loved the spotlight, but thrived in it. She wasn't just a part of the laughter, she helped create it. She didn't just read words, she breathed a new life into them. This girl found a family in a place that could've made her or broke her, because the theatre can be just a cruel a place as the rest of the world if you don't have the right people at the heart of it. 

This is why my biggest message to anyone who is struggling to find a place in the world, even if theatre isn't your place, you can find a space anywhere to grow and flourish. Find people who make you better, and who you make better just by being there. It may take time and energy, but the best environments only flourish with the right light and care. The moment something becomes toxic, then you need to step away; not every happy place is a happy one forever, but the world is wide enough for you to create and thrive in new spaces. 

There are different ways to save a life other than physically stopping you from dying, just as there are other ways to live other than just existing and breathing. 

Acting saved my life because it gave me a reason to love myself, it gave me goals and challenges to set myself to grow and develop, it gave me a whole new set of characters in the book of my life to laugh alongside and enjoy the company of. I can't pretend as well that it wasn't the perfect place to foster the love of musical theatre I have today. 

Thank you to all who have shared my acting journey, whether it's by supporting me on stage (sometimes getting me out of sticky spots with my lines!), or watching and cheering me on from the audience, or just giving me a stage to try and make people laugh on. 

You are more appreciated than you will ever know, and I hope if this post does nothing else, it reminds people of why acting is an important art form, and why it will always have a place in this world.

Come From Away - A Musical Worth Coming From Away To See

 To a casual observer, when you think of musicals, rarely do you think that they can be born from tragedy, or from a corner of history of so dark it is still remembered every year without fail. You think of corny songs, of big opening and closing numbers designed to get you talking long after the show is over, of big, beautiful sets that glitter and shine under the spotlights. 

Come From Away is a unique musical as it doesn't strive to tick those boxes. It still manages to, but the goal is undeniably to showcase an extraordinary tale of community that I hope is a sentiment we can echo around the world. It is a musical that truly showcases the best humanity has to offer, and is why no matter what the world throws at us or, indeed, what we throw at the world, I do believe we are amazing creatures when we want to be.

It tells a tale of a town called Gander, in Newfoundland, that had to host a great number of displaced passengers when planes had to be grounded in the wake of the 9/11 terror attacks in America. It was a wide awakening for me that, even as a Brit watching this show, there is actually a shocking amount I didn't really know about the aftermath of that horrific day beyond the initial media coverage, and what television shows and films have carved stories from. 

I went to watch the musical at The Curve in Leicester, as it was the first stop this particular cast and crew were hosting their terrific show at. This venue is always a fantastic place to visit, but as with every show I go to see, I am always interested to see how a show with such a following adapts to each theatre it visits.

What shocked me most about this performance, was how simple and stripped back it was. You had the chairs and tables that formed most of the set, and quickly became everything needed to tell you the story, from the seats of a restaurant, to the aisle of a plane. The movement from scene to scene, from song to song, was phenomenally done, and fit the pace and tone of the overall story that was going on.

The cast were also phenomenal, and the fact that there was no single person that stood out more than the others speaks to how brilliantly everyone worked together, in a community effort that was a beautifully fitting tribute to the real life heroes this story was based on. 

"That's how we started speaking the same language," I think was the most hauntingly beautiful line of the whole show, because it summed up how even though we have much to divide us, we have just as much, if not more, that unites us. We forget that sometimes, and it's why sometimes it is dispiriting to see how much hatred and vitriol exists in the world, and certainly on social media spaces. 

There were fleeting moments that felt genuinely uncomfortable to watch, but it was exactly what was needed, and that included moments when one passenger was met with such mistrust and fear all because they were a different colour and nationality to the rest. I think this was handled beautifully, and I think it teaches us that uncomfortable moments in a musical can be vital to selling the story. You can't buy into a musical, unless you feel something in the moment, good or bad. Feeling something for someone or something within a piece of theatre, negative or positive, tells you that you are connecting to something that either mirrors a memory of your own, or ignites knowledge that makes you see the world in a different way. 

I could go on and on about this musical, but it had everything, from love and laughter, to heartbreak and loss. When a musical covers a news story or event that took away a lot from the country affected, it has to make you care, and it has to have a message that doesn't just leave you depressed and hopeless after. For me, I can't watch or consume media that just showcases the worst of humanity. It is important to be aware such horror and travesty exists in our world, but I think if we don't showcase the best of humanity, it is easy to believe it is the worst, and then you think, why do we bother at all?

Come From Away is a well needed boost to the system, and I hope it finds a permanent home somewhere. Until then, I wish it safe travels, and hope every community it visits welcomes it as much as the communities of Newfoundland did for the misplaced passengers it rescued and gave homes to back in 2001. 

This is a show you are going to want to come from away to.

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